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... of others too, and in subtle ways he will start dominating - because that is the only way he can feel fulfilled as far as his ego is concerned. If he becomes a therapist he will dominate the patient, if he becomes a groupleader he will dominate the participants, if he becomes a teacher he will dominate the students. Wherever he is, that is not the point - he will try to dominate. If he is a husband he...

... will try to dominate the wife and destroy the wife - because domination destroys; there is nothing more destructive than domination. So particularly when one is thinking to become a groupleader or a therapist and wants to move into some therapeutic dimension, one should be perfectly aware of whether one is ready or not. Otherwise in the name of therapy you can go on playing a game. It will destroy others...
... a subtle domination starts. The surrender has to be to the god of love, not to each other, otherwise there will be difficulty, much difficulty. How can you surrender yourself to her and how can she surrender herself to you? She will find a thousand and one defects in you and you will find a thousand and one defects in her. One can surrender only to something perfect. It is very difficult to surrender...

... will poison your whole love affair. Then a very subtle game can start: in the name of surrender you can start dominating and she can start dominating. And women are very very clever in doing that - in dominating through surrender. They will touch your feet -and their hands are on your neck. And there is a reason in it: because a woman is a softer sex, more delicate, her ways of dominating are delicate. When...

... a man wants to dominate he will just be aggressive, violent, he will shout. When a woman wants to dominate she will cry and weep. But don't think that she is not trying to dominate - those tears are to dominate. And of course she succeeds in a better way, because the man cannot cope with it. If the woman starts fighting he can cope with it. If the woman hits him, he can cope with it - he can hit...

... harder; he has more musculature, a bigger body. So the woman has to go through the non-violent way. That is the very ancient-most way of the woman - the non-violent way. She wants to dominate you but not through means that you can sabotage - you cannot even sabotage her efforts. Now, if you really want to defeat her when she is crying, you have to cry more loudly - that you cannot do, that is difficult...

..., so you have to surrender. And through crying the woman doesn't seem to be trying to dominate - that is the beauty of it - but it is subtle domination. Then you can go on playing the game that you have surrendered to her; now she should surrender to you. Look, you have surrendered to her - now what is she going to do? She should surrender to you! You have surrendered more and she has not surrendered...

... surrender - that game cannot be played. You cannot dominate through surrender and she cannot dominate through surrender, because you are both surrendered to love. Now, there is no way to dominate love. You are surrendered to something higher than both of you - that is the meaning of 'god of love'. The very myth, that there is a god of love, is beautiful, it is a tremendous understanding. Then two lovers...

... holding back? There is some fear that if you don't hold back, if you give all, she will dominate - then you have nothing else to give. So we give only in parts... we keep the carrot dangling - that's why we hold back. We keep the mystery. You don't allow the woman to enter into your whole being and know It totally, because once she knows you totally she may become disinterested. You keep a few comers...

... independent and you are not worried that she can dominate and you are not surrendered to her but to the god of love, then you can open yourself totally. Because then it is not a question of her being with you or not being with you. Let me underline this idea: when you are surrendered to the god of love, then it is not very very important whether she remains with you or leaves you or whether you leave her...

... there is no repentance later on that you could not give to that woman, you were holding back. When there is no fear of the future, when you are not trying to manage the future, you don't want the future to be a certain way - you never know. When you remain in ignorance about the future, there is an opening. And the surrender is not for each other, so there is no fear of domination. You can relax, she can relax...
... WITH CLARITY. UNDER YOUR GUIDANCE I HAVE LEARNED NOT TO DOMINATE OTHERS WHEN I USE MY CAPACITY TO SEE, BUT AM I STILL DOMINATING MYSELF? Sagarpriya, the role of a therapist is a very delicate and complex affair. First, the therapist himself suffers from the same problems that he is trying to help others with. The therapist is only a technician. He can manage to pretend and to deceive himself that he...

... to help people in therapy groups. This is going to happen in almost every country of the world, because therapy has become a business, and people who are unqualified are dominating it. They know the technique, because technique they can learn; by participating in a few groups they know all the techniques, then they can make a concoction of their own. But there is no way of controlling.... But remember...

... and there is no patient, but simply a loving group helping each other. Unless the therapist is lost in the group, he is not a successful therapist. That's my criterion. Sagarpriya, you are saying, "Under your guidance I have learned not to dominate others when I use my capacity to see, but am I still dominating myself?" They are not two things. Domination is domination, whether you dominate others or you...

... dominate yourself. If you are dominating yourself, then in some subtle way you will dominate others too. How can it be otherwise? The first domination that you have to drop is not over others... because it is not certain that they will accept your domination. The first domination you have to drop is over yourself. Why become yourself a prisoner, with great effort create a prison around yourself...

..., and then carry it wherever you go? First learn the utter joy of freedom, of a bird on the wing in the vast sky. Your very freedom will become a transforming force for others. Domination is so ugly. Leave it to the politicians, who don't have any sense of shame at all. They live in the gutters and they think they are living in palaces. Their whole life is a life in the gutters -- they will live there and they...

... inside with any rubbish. There are people who are filling it with borrowed knowledge; there are people who are filling it with self-imposed torture -- they become saints. There are people who are beggars to become the prime minister, to become the president. Everywhere the hollow people are in tremendous need to dominate others. That gives them the feeling that they are not hollow. A sannyasin begins...

... by enquiring into his subjectivity, from within, and he becomes aware of tremendous treasures, inexhaustible treasures. Only then do you stop dominating yourself, and you stop dominating others. There is no need at all. From that moment your whole effort is to make everybody aware of his individuality, of his freedom, of his immense, inexhaustible sources of bliss, contentment, peace. To me, if therapy...

..., and they are not ready to drop their begging -- because they are afraid that is all they have got. And unless they drop their begging, they will never know that they are emperors and their empire is of the within. Sagarpriya, if you have stopped dominating people but you are suspicious that perhaps you have started dominating yourself, then nothing has changed. You misunderstood the whole message. Becky...

...? It is not a spiritual act. It is a very cunning strategy to dominate. The man watches his wife continuously, keeps her a slave while he is alive. He is afraid... when he is dead, who knows? -- the wife may fall in love with somebody and he will not be able to do anything. It is better to create an ideology so that the wife also jumps in the funeral pyre; then that fool feels immensely contented because now...

... there is no fear. And I am surprised... newspapers report it, the government officials are making arrangements, and nobody is bothered that it is illegal, it is unconstitutional, it is illogical. It is male chauvinist ideology. It is a domination beyond conception. You even want to dominate when you are dead! But misunderstanding goes on and on.... A little girl was in the park crying when an old gentleman asked...
... is concerned with making a robot of you, not a revolutionary, because it is helpful. It is easy to dominate a robot; it is almost impossible to dominate a man of selfknowledge. How can you dominate a Jesus? How can you dominate a Buddha or a Heraclitus? He will not yield, he will not follow dictates. He will move through his own being. He will be like the wind, like the clouds; he will move like rivers. He...

... will be wild -- of course beautiful, natural, but dangerous to the false society. He will not fit. Unless we create a natural society in the world, a Buddha is going to remain always a misfit, a Jesus is bound to be crucified. The society wants to dominate; the privileged classes want to dominate, to oppress, to exploit. They would like you to remain completely unaware of yourself. This is the first...

..., to dominate; you would also like to possess, to be powerful. A man of selfknowledge cannot be made a slave, and he cannot make a slave of anybody else either. You cannot oppress a man of knowledge, and a man of knowledge cannot oppress anybody. He cannot be dominated and he will not dominate. Domination simply disappears from that dimension. You cannot possess him and he will not possess anybody. He...

... in your world of slavery. Would you like not to be exploited? Yes, you will say, you would like not to be exploited. Would you like not to be made a prisoner? Yes, you would like not to be made a prisoner. But would you like the other thing also: not to make a prisoner of anybody else? not to dominate, not to oppress and exploit? not to kill the spirit, not to make a person into a thing...

... in millions of wrong ways -- wandered, missed, committed sin, murdered; war, exploitation, oppression, domination. You have been a part of it, you are responsible for it. Just by chanting a mantra for ten minutes you think all responsibility is gone, you have transcended? You call this chanting transcendental meditation? Whom do you think you are befooling? Transcendence is possible, but not through...

... difficulty. And one has to be born in a society. The parents are part of the society, the teachers are part of the society, the priests are part of the society. The society is everywhere, all around you. It seems really impossible -- how to escape? How to find a door back to nature? You are enclosed from every side. The second difficulty comes from your own self -- because you would also like to oppress...

... will be free and he will help others to be free. This is an even deeper difficulty than the first. You can avoid society, but how to avoid your own ego? You are afraid -- because a man of knowledge simply doesn't think in terms of possession, domination, power. He is innocent like a child. He would like to live totally free, and he would like others also to live totally free. This man will be a freedom here...

...? That is difficult. And remember: if you want to dominate, you will be dominated. If you want to exploit, you will be exploited. If you want somebody else to be a slave to you, you will be enslaved. They are both aspects of the same coin. This is the difficulty in selfknowledge; otherwise, selfknowledge should be the most simple thing, the most easy. There should not be any need to make any efforts. Efforts are...

... needed for these two things; they are the barriers. Just watch and see these two barriers, and start by dropping your own. First stop dominating, possessing, exploiting, and suddenly you will become capable of getting out of the trap of the society. The ego is the problem; that's why you cannot know yourself. The ego gives you certain false images of yourself, and if you carry those images for a long...

... that; you are the whole history of aggression, violence, oppression, slavery. At the periphery, remember, you are the history that belongs to this world. Everything is involved; it has to be so because mind is not your own, it is a social product. Mind carries all the germs of the past, all the diseases of the past, all the ugliness of the past, because mind belongs to the collective. There are certain...
... its own limits. And the wise people of the country should be asked to address the parliament as often as possible on problems which politicians cannot solve -- don't have even the brains to solve. But Rajiv Gandhi's intentions are totally different. He wants politics to be the only power dominating everybody, religion included, and that religion follow the dictates of the politicians. I absolutely...

... should have the whole monopoly to enslave humanity, to reduce men to slaves, to destroy their freedom, to destroy their consciousness; to convert them into robots so that the politicians can enjoy the power and the domination. Religion is the only problem for the politicians. It is beyond their reach and beyond their understanding. Religion is the only area where politics should not interfere at all...

..., because religion is the only hope. Only fools choose to be somebody Politics, for centuries, has been just killing, destroying people -- the whole history of politics is the history of criminals, murderers. In three thousand years, politicians have created five thousand wars. It seems that inside the politician, the barbarous instinct is very powerful; its only joy is to destroy, to dominate. Religion...

... criminals. Rather than being in power, they should be behind bars; they are inhuman. And they are spiritually sick people. The will to power and to dominate arises only in the sick mind. It arises out of the inferiority complex. People who are not suffering from an inferiority complex do not care about power; their whole endeavor is for peace, because the meaning of life can be known only in peace...

... -- power is not the way. Peace, silence, gratitude, meditation -- these are the basic constituents of religion. Religion cannot be allowed to be dominated by stupid politicians. The situation is as if sick people are trying to dominate the physicians, directing what they should do and what they should not do. Accept it -- the sick people are in the majority, but that does not mean that the physician...

... should be dominated by the majority. The physician can heal the wounds, can cure the sicknesses of humanity. Religion is the physician. Politicians have done enough harm, and they are leading the whole of humanity towards a global suicide. And still Rajiv Gandhi has the nerve to say that religion should not interfere -- when the whole of life on this planet is in danger! Not only man, but the innocent...

...? Still, they want religion not to be allowed to interfere with politics. What about them? They should be allowed to interfere with religion? Is the lower going to dominate the higher? Is the mundane going to dominate the sacred? That will be the ultimate misfortune for humanity. As far as I can see, all politicians should be meditators, should know something of the inner world. They should be more...

... and the power game started again in the old style. Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru was a brahmin; he was not a woman and he was not a sudra. Again, the brahmin becomes the power, and for forty years, one family of brahmins have been dominating India. They have made it almost their personal dynasty. It is no longer a democracy. Just look at the facts: What was the hold of Mahatma Gandhi over the Indian people? He was...

...'s politics: he was using even religion for ugly ends. Only fools choose to be somebody Doctor Ambedkar wanted a separate vote for the untouchables, and I am in absolute agreement with him for the simple reason that for five thousand years these people have been oppressed, exploited; their whole dignity as human beings had been destroyed -- and they are one-fourth of the Hindu population. And they do...

... condemn the idea. Religion cannot follow the dictates of the politicians. Politicians should learn, should listen to the advice of the religious people. The problems are so small that any man of intelligence and good will can easily solve them. But the politician does not want to solve them; he only talks about solving them because his power is dependent on how many problems you have. The more problems...
... that it is impossible to think that he can understand the meaning of Nietzsche; but he became the prophet of Nietzsche's philosophy. And according to his retarded mind he interpreted -- not only interpreted, but acted according to those interpretations -- and the second world war was the result. When Nietzsche is talking about "will to power," it has nothing to do with will to dominate...

.... But that is the meaning the Nazis had given to it. "The will to power" is diametrically opposite to the will to dominate. The will to dominate comes out of an inferiority complex. One wants to dominate others, just to prove to himself that he is not inferior -- he is superior. But he needs to prove it. Without any proof he knows he is inferior; he has to cover it up by many, many proofs. The really superior...

... man needs no proof, he simply is superior. Does a roseflower argue about its beauty? Does the full moon bother about proving its gloriousness? The superior man simply knows it, there is no need for any proof; hence he has no will to dominate. He certainly has a "will to power," but then you have to make a very fine distinction. His will to power means: he wants to grow to his fullest...

... the beauty of the warrior. They wanted some idea for which to fight, and Nietzsche gave them a good excuse -- for the superman. Of course, they immediately got hold of the idea of superman. The Nordic German Aryans were going to be Nietzsche's new race of man, the superman. They wanted to dominate the world, and Nietzsche was very helpful, because he was saying that man's deepest longing is "...

...;will to power." They changed it into will to dominate. Now they had the whole philosophy: the Nordic German Aryans are the superior race because they are going to give birth to the superman. They have the will to power and they will dominate the whole world. That is their destiny -- to dominate the inferior human beings. Obviously, the arithmetic is simple: the superior should dominate the inferior...

..., Dhyan Agni, it is the misunderstanding of millions of people. And because of this misunderstanding they destroy the whole beauty of love. Instead of creating a paradise out of it, they create a hell for each other, because everybody is trying to dominate everybody else in the name of love -- but deep down is the desire to dominate. Love in itself is unconditional. It knows only giving, sharing...

...; If you want to dominate, then certainly you will have to lose your love. But if you want to love, you can love as powerfully as you want. There is no contradiction between power and love. If there is a contradiction between power and love, then love will become powerless, it will become impotent, uncreative, weak; power will become dangerous, destructive -- it will start to enjoy torturing people. Love...
... to the canteen. Look after peoples' needs, even the small things, because this is their home; they should not feel that they cannot have small things. Mm? if they want a little more sugar, allow them. They should feel at home, otherwise it feels that they are constantly afraid. Don't make them afraid. You are there to serve these people, you are not to dominate them. You have to mother them; completely forget...

... the idea of dominating. The idea of dominating arises out of an inferiority complex; people dominate because they are afraid, they are not certain about themselves. But there is no need to be uncertain here; you can be absolutely certain. There is no need to be afraid, so there is no need to be defensive and powerful - one can be humble. Always remember: the person who is not humble is not yet certain...

... to dominate, there is no need at all! So the first thing: change your language. The second thing: take more care of people, be more loving, because we are going to create a really loving family. You are my people through whom I have to work. I cannot come and take care of their food, so you represent me there. Remember that you represent me, so don't do anything that will not fit with me. Remember...
... AND FEARFUL EYES. EXPLAIN WHAT THIS INDICATES AND HOW TO OVERCOME THIS PHENOMENON. Those who practice hypnotism, mesmerism, magnetism, or things like this, will have very tense eyes - obviously, because they are trying to move their energy through the eyes forcibly. They are bringing their total energy near the eyes just to influence, impress or dominate someone. Their eyes will become tense because...

... then their eyes are flooded with energy, more than they can tolerate. Their eyes will be red, tense, and if you look at them you will feel a sudden shivering: they are using their eyes in a very political way. If they look at you, they are sending their energy to dominate you. And through eyes, domination is very easy. This was the case with Rasputin, who dominated Russia, before Lenin, just through his eyes...

.... He was an ordinary peasant, uneducated, but with very magnetic eyes, and he came to know how to use this. The moment he would look at you, you would forget yourself, and in that moment he could send any suggestion to you telepathically and you would follow it. That is how he dominated the Czar and the Czarina, the royal family, and through them, the whole Russia. Nothing could be done without his...

... out, but when you do that your eyes will be tense: you will not be able to sleep, you will not be able to relax. So all those who are trying to dominate others will be restless. If you look at their faces their eyes will be alive, but their faces will be dead. Look at any hypnotist: his eyes will be very much alive, but his face will be dead, because his eyes are sucking the whole energy and nothing...

... is left anywhere else. Do not do this because it is useless to dominate anyone. The only useful thing is to dominate yourself. It is useless, a wastage of your energy. Nothing is achieved through it - just an egoistic feeling that you can dominate. So this is evil, a black art. That is the difference between black magic and white magic. Black magic means using your energy, wasting it, in dominating...

... others. White magic means using the same methods, but using your energy in dominating your own life, becoming a master of yourself. And remember, sometimes similarities happen... If a Buddha moves amongst you, you will be dominated by him, although he is not dominating you. He is not trying to dominate you, but you will be dominated because he is the master of himself. And he is such a master that all...

... around him whosoever moves will become a slave. But there is no conscious effort on his part. Rather, on the contrary, he will continually insist, "Be your own master - remember this." And this insistence is because of this knowledge. Buddha knows that whosoever comes around him will become a slave. He is not doing anything; he is not trying to dominate anyone, but he knows this will happen...

.... His last dying words were, "Be a lamp unto yourself." He was dying, and Ananda asked him, just a day before his actual death, "When you will be no more, what shall we do?" He said, "It is good that I shall be no more. Then you can be your own master. Be a lamp unto yourself; forget me. It is good, because when I am no more you will be freed from my domination." Those...

... who try to dominate others will try in every way to make a slave of you. That is evil, satanic. Those who become their own masters will help you to become masters, and they will try in every way to cut their influence. That can be done in many ways. For example, I will tell a more recent incident. Ouspensky, the chief disciple of Gurdjieff, was working under Gurdjieff for ten years. It was very...

... not pulled in that way: that you are not attracted hypnotically, that you are not dominated by them. And they will help to make you masters, standing on your own feet. Those who are trying to dominate others, their eyes will be tense, evilish. You will not feel any innocence in their eyes, you will not feel purity in their eyes. You will feel attraction, but the attraction will be like alcohol. You...

... will feel a magnetic pull, but the pull will be not to free you but to enslave you. Remember, never use any energy to dominate anyone. Because of this, Buddha, Mahavir, Jesus, they made it a point, and they went on hammering, that the moment you enter the spiritual search, be filled with love for everyone, even for your enemy - because if you are filled with love you will not be attracted to the inner...

... violence which wants to dominate. Only love can become an antidote. Otherwise when the energy comes to you and you are overfilled with it, you will start dominating. This happens every day. I have come across many, many people... I start helping them, they will grow a little, and the moment they feel that a certain energy is coming to them they will start dominating others, they will try now to use...

... it. Remember, never use spiritual energy to dominate. You are wasting your efforts. Sooner or later you will be empty again, and you will fall down suddenly. And this is pure wastage, but it is very difficult to control it because you become aware that now you can do certain things. If you touch someone who was ill and he becomes okay, how can you resist touching others now? How can you resist? If you cannot...

..., now this is a power. If you can heal, you can dominate them. You may say, "I am just helping them," but even in your help you are simply trying to dominate them. Your ego will be fulfilled. This will become a food for your ego. So all the old treatises say beware. They say beware because when the energy comes to you, you are at a dangerous point. You can waste it, you can throw it away...
... stop. Here, I will teach you how to un-control, because only in un-control will you become free. And when the energy is moving spontaneously with no mind behind it to manipulate, to direct, to dictate, then there is tremendous bliss. The trees are more blissful; they exist on a lower plane but are more blissful. And so are the animals; they exist on a lower plane but are more blissful. And the reason...

.... Never take the other for granted; that is very insulting! To take the other for granted means that the other has become a means, is no more an end. If the other's freedom remains intact, the marriage is beautiful. Never interfere with the other's freedom. The mind is very political - it wants to dominate. So marriage becomes a game of domination: who dominates whom, and how. And the whole time...

..., for twenty-four hours, husbands and wives are trying to find new ways to dominate. Naturally, beauty is crushed, love is crushed and killed, and the whole thing that started as a beautiful experience becomes ugly. Never take the other for granted and never interfere with the freedom of the other. And the way to do it is not to become dependent on the other, because to become dependent is a subtle way...

... to dominate. ... don't become dependent, remain happy on your own. Your happiness should not be dependent on [her] and [her] happiness should not be dependent on you. You should be independently happy and sometimes sharing your happiness. But it should not be the case that you cannot be happy alone. If you cannot be happy alone you will start taking revenge, because then she becomes dominating. She...
... MAN - HIS BOAT IS EMPTY. Empty of what? Empty of the I, empty of the ego, empty of somebody there inside. HE WHO RULES MEN, LIVES IN CONFUSION; HE WHO IS RULED BY MEN LIVES IN SORROW. HE WHO RULES MEN, LIVES IN CONFUSION. Why? The desire to rule comes from the ego; the desire to possess, to be powerful, the desire to dominate, comes from the ego. The greater the kingdom you can dominate, the greater...

... go mad - not because they are immune to it, but they are so much concerned with other people's madness, curing, helping, that they forget completely that they also can go mad. I have come to know many social workers, leaders, politicians, gurus, and they stay healthy just because they are concerned with others. But if you lead others, dominate others, out of your confusion you will create confusion...

... confusion is born. ...HE WHO IS RULED BY MEN LIVES IN SORROW. If you dominate men, you live in confusion; if you allow others to dominate you, you will live in sorrow, because a slave cannot be blissful. TAO THEREFORE DESIRED NEITHER TO INFLUENCE OTHERS NOR BE INFLUENCED BY THEM. You should not try to influence anybody, and you should be alert that you are not influenced by others. The ego can do both...

... but it cannot remain in the middle. The ego can try to influence, then it feels good, dominating, but remember that the ego also feels good being dominated. The masters feel good because so many slaves are dominated, and the slaves also feel good being dominated. There are two types of mind in the world: the mind of those who dominate - the male mind, and the mind of those who like to be dominated...

... - the female mind. By female I don't mean women, or by male, men. There are women who have masculine minds and there are men who have feminine minds. They are not always the same. These are the two types of mind: one which likes to dominate and one which likes to be dominated. In both ways ego is fulfilled because whether you dominate or are dominated YOU are important. If someone dominates you, then too you...

... are important, because his domination depends on you. Without you, where will he be? Without you, where will his kingdom be, his domination, his possession? Without you, he will be nobody. Ego is fulfilled at both the extremes, only in the middle does ego die. Don't be dominated and don't try to dominate. Just think what will happen to you. You are not important in any way, not significant in any...

... hours? You have not observed. In twenty-four hours the change happens at least twenty-four times - sometimes the wife is the husband and the husband is the wife, sometimes the husband is again the husband and the wife is again the wife. And this goes on changing from left to right. It is a tightrope walk. You have to balance. You cannot dominate for twenty-four hours, because then the balance...

... of life is a tightrope walk. Tao therefore desired to remain in the middle - neither be dominated nor be dominating, neither be a husband nor be a wife, neither be a master nor be a slave. THE WAY TO GET CLEAR OF CONFUSION AND FREE OF SORROW IS TO LIVE WITH TAO IN THE LAND OF THE VOID. In the middle the door opens - the land of the void. When you are not, the whole world disappears, because the world...

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